"Sorrows", I could name it

You entered my Life slowly, tip-toeing.

Like o Rosy breeze you filled my world with your fragrance, that still lingers in me.

My body was bathed in flower petals,

The sooth, mildness of your heart wrapped around me.

But you exited my Life like a gush of air, at its full speed.

A storm in its fury, tornadoes swirling in the scent of our love.

Uprooting every bit of me from the soil of my courage, my strength and my dignity.

Strangling me with the words of our separation.

Like whiplashes your fury hit me,

Like unhealable scars your rude words are still felt in me.

I have fallen in the trenches of my misery, no escape from this sorrowful destiny.

I try to vent out my anger through the flow of my bleeding pen.

As I cannot abuse you to my best as i want to.

Because I am still in love with you.

The love whose cupid arrows now hit me to the core of my heart.

But they don't bloom into tiny little red hearts.

Instead the hit of it ooze out the lingering pain in me.

So hard was the fury of your words you last said to me,

Like thousand  scratches  they got embossed on me.

I am battered, pestered and weeping to the death of our love. 

Yet I raise my arms, my numb fingers to reach out for you.

But every time I try to do,

I capture thin cold air that pinches me, my open wounds.

I am now in the wait of that time, when it will come to an end.

Your memories, the scent of yours left in me, which i still breathe it.

I long for that time now, when it will be in ashes.

An angel with a hallow will come to me.

Lift my soul from this wounded body of mine,

Like a cocoon woven in silk thread she will take me.

Up i'll be gone far from all these, like a breeze in the sky I'll vanish.

Yet I'll leave a mark on your heart.

Not of spears, nor of whiplashes neither of misery.

But it will be the mark of my love, I had for you till ETERNITY.

In a State of Illusion. But am I?

As i gaze at our photograph.


Clicked together at the summer carnival last year.


Tears trickle down my eyes,


Sweeping down my cheeks, giving a chill all the way to my spine.




My mental chords have got weaken it seems,


Thinking 24x7 about him.


I feel that was i illusion-ed by him that his love was true for me.


Was it a blessing or a turned out misery in disguise.




His words still boom in my mind.


Like a tape in its full blare.


With the sounds of his deep husky voice.


The words of togetherness he whispered.




Then when i look myself in mirror.


My eyes puffed with sorrowfulness and fear, his heart so unturned now.


Is this a reality? His avoidance and rudeness?


Or was that an illusion? His warmth, embraces and his promises of being with me?




How could he break away the bond we shared?


Left me bleeding, weeping and no strength in me now.


But then i wonder how could he lie to me? May be he din't.


May be it was all so true for him as well, but is then this misery an illusion for me?




I sit next to my window pane.


Looking straight at the night sky, to have Almighty's site.


Looking up to Him for answers to my this dilemma.


Its a summer night, tonight. But so cold i lie with the dilemma of fallen in an illusion or truthfulness.




Do I try to reconcile myself, by speaking good about him to me?


Or was it really his humbleness that left a mark in me?


His unique and genuineness that drew me so close to him.


Or was that yet another illusion to my love stuck mind when i look at the scenario,I am in.




I talk to my pals and random figures about him,


To get a resolute solution to it.


But nothing seems to bring me solace,


As my heart is in conflict with me.




Like a swirl of whirlpool i keep grinding within.


The turmoil like a tornado in birth in me.


Slowly it grows and with its each breath i churn into it.


My illusion of whether a true love or an exploitation of me.




I begged to him to help me out of this.


I begged to God to wipe away his memories.


But my chords are somewhere still attached to him, our memories.


Then i feel may be there's something blissful hidden in this.




But the growing frustration plunges me daily.


Drenched are my clothes in the tears of my moist thoughts.


I find his existence, his love for me an illusion now.


But WAIT! My heart yells, may be I still reside in him. But then DO I ??




WORD COUNT: 390; FCA




This poem has been shared with 'Romantic Friday Writers' based on the theme Confused.

P.S.: Actually going through this trauma of so many unanswered questions in my mind, left by my someone so special. I found this theme so perfect to my dilemma of whether the love i shared was true for him? Or whether it was just a phase in his life which had come and gone and he is over with it. because to me I have got captured in my past completely, the unforgettable memories i have about him, about us.
And thanks to "RFW", through this topic i was able to vent out a bit of my frustration though my questioned are still unanswered and may be they will remain to be.

Was Cradled With History and Its Mystries

Here was a challenge of how much we  know about our history.

Going back in my memory to fill in my poem’s lines.

I recall of being cradled in my grandma’s laps.

Sitting in her  white base, red bordered sari.

She would open up her the chest of her stories.

Narrating one each day, to put me off to sleep.

They were the stories of the Rajas and Maharajas.

Their humongous castles, and stories of their braveries.

Amongst them were Chandragupt Maurya, and the Great Ashoka.

Great kings of their times, she would say.

The Gatha of their preaching she would narrate it all to me.

With my amazed eyes I would gaze like x-rays, piercing through her thick glass.

To absorb in my mind, the emphasis of her lines.

Lines or Ramayana she would read out to me.

Explaining Rama’s Vanvas and Sita’s  devotion to her husband, unconditionally.

Mahabharata’ s politics and Lord Krishna’s Yudh with his Kans mama.

The Jataka’s tales, the mysterious princesses and animals in it.

These are the stories I grew up with.

With every word and essence of every line hammered into my lasting memory.

By my grandma cradling me and humming these words of wisdom and great history to me.

This is how I came to know the rich culture and stories of my Country.

The one which is well known for its rich Mythological dignity.

In my memories are the days of my social science classes.

It not only taught me about my mother lands history,

Even I was taught of the great civilizations which were such a mystery.

They were not just simply text to me but the words were like sharp spear of enlightenment to me.

Enlighten of their great technical mystery, pyramids of Giza, garden of Babylon and Harappa’s civilization.

This whole churning of childhood stories and text in the books.

Brought me to the brim of my anxiety.

Which eventually lead me to a whole trip round the world.

Few were just readings and few were my visitings.

To the pyramids of Giza, their myriad beauty.

Amazed I was to see the humongous technical advancement, then.

Which is still a mystery, to all and as well as to me.

Thousands of years buried under the sand, protected by the time it seems.

They stood out so beautiful and so richly inscripted with their history.

With rich blocks of alabaster they were made of, shining bright to dignify its glory.

There was my trip to the land of the Great Alexander, Alexandria it was called.

With the catacombs hiding the graves of great men, lavish Greek culture, still a mystery.

This history along with its mysteries, are a never ending course to my delight.

The urge to know more I have. As there are yet voids of history that still left in me.

The myriads of its beauty and richness are what infold me in its grips.

The HISTORY along with its MYSTERIES.






This poem has been shared with 'Jingle Poetry' .

Move On is What They say, can't is What I say

Move on is all they say,

Because i am still longing for you which is what holding me back they all say.

But nor did you neither did they understand that you are my breaths, an eternal part of my life.

Is what i say.

I try so hard to control how i feel about you, is what i say.

But then i have lost it all, is what they say.

I am ruining my life in your thoughts, they say.

But nor did you neither did they understand that you were my happiness and my serene peace.

Is what i say.

Do not hold back for a man who din't love you at all, they say.

He isn't worth of you, they say.

But nor did you neither did they understand that i felt blessed having you in my life.

Like a princess found her prince charming i felt.

Is what i say.

Do not shed your tears for him, they say.

Live your life if its a life without him, they say.

But nor did you neither did they understand that you where my life, now its so hollow.

Your absence is like a curse on my fate.

Is what i say.

A lifeless burnt tree is what i have become who used to bear flowers of happiness once.

Now all so barren and scared is what i have become.

Is what i say.

Fall in love again, theysay.

Wipe your tears and smile again, is what they say.

But nor did you neither did they understandthat you were the grin on my face.

Is what I say.

How can i break my chords with you,

The love we shared with rossy kisses and breezy warm embraces that we shared.

How can i forget the promises you had made, the life we were supposed to share.

Together in each others arms. you always said.

How can i forget that you loved me once,

May be now its all so fake, in worlds eye today.

But I got carried away and now its hard to return back.

To square one, with your hollowing absence.

Is what i say.

LOSE, you not being here now

My mind boggles, when I see your portrait.

That how could the things just come to an end?

Yesterday it seemed to be all happy and merry to me.

And tonight I lay on my bed all so much in pain.

The inhealable pain it is.

It was just yesterday it seems, when you whispered in my ears,

The three divine word for me. “I love you”.

And tonight I lay on my bed, my eyes soaked with salty tears.

Even the salty tears taste better than the bitter.

The bitterness you showed to me.

My pillow all so soaked, the moisture and the puffiness under my eyes.

Don’t seem to turn your heart, is what amazes me.

I cried, I begged and fell on your foot.

But nothing seemed to make a difference to you, then and now.

Perhaps heart of yours that love me so turned into a stone.

It was just yesterday it seems, when we went on long strolls.

Hand in hand, fingers locked so tight.

But tonight it’s a night, when the moon is so bright.

But yet I walk all alone.

On the same roads sprinkled with the silver moonlight.

It was just yesterday it seems, when you knelt down to propose.

To stay besides me as a support, a matrimonial bond you wanted.

But tonight I try to imagine that ring on my finger.

But it’s all so blurred as my dreams got washed away.

By your ignorance, my never ending tears and the destiny’s blow.

I even know may be its not your entire fault.

May be this is how it was to be, but then I don’t accept it either.

Because I still long for the fewer, though fewer times they were.

The times spent with you, I long for you.

But know my body aches so much, harder are the breaths.

Hard is for my soul to break away every string of the bond.

The bond it formed with yours, it was so strong.

But tonight I struggle, still trying to mend the threads.

The slipping worn out threads of our connected souls.

The souls whose togetherness was not a coincidence but a connection, you always said.

I eventually look up to the sky, trying to question the All Mighty tonight.

Who brought you in my life an angel in disguise, I used to believe.

I ask him tonight, if love is so painful then why they call it to be your gift?

May be that’s why they call falling in love and not rising in love?

This is a fight with God, with you and with me because of my biggest LOSE.

The LOSE is you my love, not being here with me now anymore.

My Friend

I remember the day I first saw her.

The memories are yet so sharp in my mind.

It must have been a bright sunny day after a summer break.

A new session to start, new class to begin and new things were all.

I entered the class with anxiety and nervousness.

As all of us were re-shuffled.

I saw her sitting right at a corner seat.

Gleefully smiling was she, so friendly it seemed to me.

She was plump, her cheeks with a bump.

Long shiny hairs she had.

We were made to sit together.

Since then we are still together.

A complete year we spent accustomed to the same bench.

But this was how we grew so close and the best friends.

We laughed out loud, Shared each other’s lunch.

Though we were different, but this really didn’t make a difference.

There came day when we were separated.

It was like aged long lovers being separated.

She was a darling to me and yet she is.

Though miles away we are now, yet hearts so close by.

It’s now nine years down the lane.

Yet she is that my one special friend.

Who is there besides me in my need.

Physically may be not but yes emotionally she is.

This a little dedication I had for her.

Because she had been baring me all, with so much patience.

She knows it I am tough and tempered at times.

But this is how she is, and angel in disguise.

It's A Child In Everyone

Since it’s my vacation standing on my veranda, everyday i see so many kids returning from their school late in the afternoon. Since its rainy season i see them carrying umbrellas of different colours and shapes. Few with some cartoon character. Mostly they are kindergarden kids. Hopping like frogs on the puddles, slashing gush of water on each other. As i gaze them i am go back in my memories when i was child. With no fright no tension of life. Remember making paper boats and sailing them in road side logged water along with my friends. We used to write our names on them and have a competition whose boat is going to last more by soaking the water late. I had a tweety umbrella yellow in colour with green strips and tweety posing happily, embossed on it with a handle of tweety toy. I remember it till now, it had been gifted to me by my mum on one of the rainy season years ago and still now i have preserved that umbrella so well not only because it was mum who bought it for me but tweety was one of my favorite cartoons.

Going back in my memories i recall every day i used to return from school sharp at 2 o'clock and mum would stuff the lunch in my mouth and me gazing the telly with my eyes wide open without even blinking my eyelashes even once, seems as if i was glued to the telly which at 2 o'clock telecasted my favorite cartoons, tom and jerry, looney toons and Sylvester and tweety. My mum would keep scolding me with every gulp she feed into my mouth saying you are such a nuisance will eating your meal.

After the glued telly time and the forced lunch it seemed, was my time to get ready and go out play with my friends. Like boundless heard we all would rush to the park and played away to glory. We did have fights then but they seemed so baseless now. Fighting over who will give the den(a chance) to be the police and the rest left out ones will be the thieves and hide, eyes-spies’.

These things i am sharing with you all today, the grown-ups of this mighty world because i feel since those fights of my childhood with my friends were so baseless but we used to patch up again, But now the fights over irrelevant things doesn’t seem to end. It seems as with maturity we have lost our innocence somewhere. May be not lost it completely. But sure this feeling of ours, the innocence is scared and hiding deep down in us in the closet of our hearts. It’s afraid i feel and wants to stay inside because it feels that may be it won't be understood well in this materialist world of our we live in.

Typing these words on my lappy one more memory of mine surrounds me takes me back into time. It was my birthday, perhaps my third birthday. Mum had invited all the kids of our building. Evening at the party one of the aunties came to drop her son and i said aunty I am sorry you aren’t invited only your son is. Then considering me child peopled laughed over my mistake and i was forgiven. But today why my unintentional mistakes aren’t forgiven? Is i question myself. Why is there so much hatred in this god's own created world?

Weeks before it was breaking news, blasts in Mumbai. Terrorism everywhere. Planning and plotting everywhere. Diplomatic and bitching society. Why wasn't every people of this society we live in weren't kids someday? Didn't they ever fight over lolly pops and next day they shared their candy with the same person? I guess yes every grown up person of our society was a kid some day and innocence in heart with superficial anger gushed away by the sweetness and serenity of the child's soul they had. Then why is that innocence that love not visible today? Things have gone so against what God meant it for us. On the name of religion we fight. Been divided on basis of caste, creed and colour. They are black and we are White. They are lower caste and we Brahmins. They are dirty and filthy and we are rich and eat on clean plates. But aren't those plates being washed at your home by those people whom you considered filthy? Isn’t the lower caste holding pujas for which you Brahmins are being paid? Isn't a white country's president today is a black. Don't you Hindu pray to God and don't you Muslim pray to Allah for your betterment? When everyone has common interests and interconnected dependence on each other like a web. Then why is there so much of hatred?

I know lots of people every day write and discuss about this topic of dividend in society, in humanity. Humanity, human race. The most intelligent creation of God. But do we really even justify being called "Humans"? If there is so much hatred and selfishness then how can we be God's ultimate creation? The intelligent once?

By my these words i just want to convey. Dear friends don't let that innocence and that serenity of our soul breath its last breath and die out in that locked closet of your heart. Let it free. Give it wings and not iron chains. Let it fly and with every lash of its wings let the anger, hatred, selfishness be banished.

I know even i have committed mistakes. May be bitched about someone, been selfish at times and diplomatic too. Perhaps may have even decided on revenge. But end of the day what i have noticed is this guilt in me slowly arising and telling me hey came you really face yourself? Can you face that Mighty power that you daily pray? Top of all can i face my immortal soul which reside in my mortal body. I couldn't every time i have played the game against humanity. May be even all you may have at some point not been able to face yourselves.

This is a humongous write up is seems but my only message is Live and let Live. Your and my god is the same. May be we are different with our skin colour but we are made of flesh and the same red blood. So why be so different.

I know you guys wondering what my childhood has to do with this togetherness and brotherhood write up. But honestly and child's innocence and soul which still resides in me and in you too has made me write this because that child in me and in all of us is hurt by this hatred and bloodshed and diplomatic life of this world. And it wants to come out of the locked closet and play. Bask in the love of brotherhood. Dance in the rain of joy and not bloodshed. Laugh out loud in the words of togetherness and not weep alone in the dingy rooms or castism. It wants to fight on base fewer things and share its loly pop again with whom it fought.

It’s a child in me who wants to be free again. It’s a child in you who want to be free. I have let mine. Let free yours.